i’m the back up friend.

the one who only gets talked to when no one else is around.

the one they go to when all else fails.

the one that only exists when their friends are busy.

the one that always gets told they should hang out yet never gets invited.

i’m not even the second option.

more like 5th or 6th.

i know i’m the last person on peoples mind to partner with, hang out with, or invite.

because i’m only there when the others aren’t.

or after they’ve gone all the way through the list to get to me.

and i’m always told it’s my fault.

yet i invite, but they already have plans.

or they don’t and they cancel anyways.

i could pour my heart out, pay for them, do everything i can… but i’ll never be more than the backup friend.

and i think at this point i’ve just accepted it,

although deep down it kills me inside.