i don’t know why my life is surrounded by you.

why my thoughts are always distracted by the things you did.

how i can’t breathe feeling suffocated by your weight.

as if your shadow follows me every day.

your voice haunts me.

your touch refuses to leave.

although i don’t remember what it was like with you in my life, you never seem to go away.

i can’t get you out of my head even when it’s driving me to go insane.

keeping me up at night with you on top of me.

and when i do finally fall asleep thinking i’ve escaped,

you follow me into my dreams haunting what peace i may have.

somehow no matter where i go,

i feel you watching me.

i tell myself i’m over it,

you mean nothing to me now,

and yet my world is surrounded by you.

it seems whenever i do stop thinking about you for one solid second,

something draws you back in.

draws me to you, and what you did.

hoping i’ll be able to move on,

once you’re not thrown in my face so much.

and yet part of me feels i’ll never move on.

that you’ll haunt me for the rest of my life.

and for some stupid reason,

i feel some peace with that.

as if this has become such apart of my life,

all the reoccurring trauma seems normal.

but i don’t want it to be normal.

i don’t want to constantly think about you.

i don’t want you haunting me every single day for the rest of my life.

i don’t want you on top of me anymore.

but yet something inside me,

won’t let me escape you.