it was the fact that i was at the peak of my happiness

i was finally healing and living life like i never have before

i was better, i was finally genuinely happy, i wanted to live

…and then i let you in

you sucked me in with all of your kind words

treated me better than anyone has ever treated me

always knew what to say, and never failed to make me laugh

i got wrapped up on how you made me feel, and didn’t even realize i fell back into my old ways.

i didn’t see you draining the life out of me

i didn’t see you putting so much pressure on me

i didn’t see how you putting all of your problems on me, affected me

i didn’t see all of the negative things you were doing to me

i didn’t see i was slowly losing myself again

..then shit went down the drain and you left

taking all of the healed, happy, improving parts of me

and now i sit here way farther away from being better than i have been in a long time

but the truth is, as much as i want to be mad at you for all you did to me…

i can’t.

because in the end i’m the one that let you in.